come tribe with me
The Holidays,On Your Terms
For the woman who keeps the peace every year and quietly disappears while she does it. What to say, what to expect, and how to come home to yourself before you walk through their door.
Does this sound familiar?
If you nodded along, you're not ungrateful or cold. You've just spent years making room for everyone else at the table. This guide is about making room for you.
Everything you need before you walk in the door
A letter from me
Why you keep leaving yourself out of the day, and how to let yourself back in.
The role you're handed at the door
The Peacekeeper, the Difficult One, the Fixer, the Invisible One and the Golden One, and why you feel fifteen again within an hour.
Your body knows first
How to notice when you've left your calm, and small, discreet ways back home to yourself.
What to say back
Ready-made words for comments, guilt trips, nosy questions and leaving when you said you would.
Before you go
A simple five-step plan for walking in with your eyes open and your exit already decided.
Your Holiday Compass
A worksheet to get clear on what you actually want from the season, so your choices come from your values rather than guilt.
Your Boundary Map
Time, money, food, conversations, traditions, children, invitations and your energy, one area at a time.
A quieter holiday season
For when you're estranged, low contact, or choosing to spend it apart, with room for grief, guilt and relief.
The day after
A gentle check-in once it's all over. Information, not a report card.
Steady words for the moments that usually knock you sideways
"I'd rather we didn't talk about my body. How's the garden doing?"
"I can hear how much it matters to you. It doesn't change what I can manage."
"I have changed. I'm a lot happier."
There are over thirty more inside, for everything from parenting advice to questions about someone you're no longer in touch with.
Whichever one is you, this guide is for you
Going home
You'll walk in with a plan, a few steady sentences and a clear sense of when you're leaving.
Staying away
You'll plan a day that's genuinely yours and find support for the feelings that come with it.
Still deciding
You'll get clear on what you want, so the choice comes from your values rather than from fear.
I'm an identity and emotional healing coach, and the founder of Come Tribe With Me. I grew up as the "difficult one" in my family, and for years I walked into every family gathering already braced, saying yes to things I dreaded and making myself smaller so everyone else stayed comfortable.
It took years of therapy, coaching and slow, unglamorous work to find my way back to myself. Now I help women do the same: break the patterns they grew up with, set boundaries without bitterness, and feel at home in themselves again.
I wrote this guide for the woman I used to be every December. I hope it helps you feel a little less alone this year.
Questions you might have
How do I get it?
As soon as you buy, you'll receive the guide as a PDF to download straight away. Read it on your phone or print it out.
Can I print the worksheets?
Yes. It's designed at A4 with writing space throughout, so you can print the whole thing or just the worksheets.
What currency will I pay in?
The price is £8. If you're paying from abroad, your bank converts it automatically, which works out at roughly US$11 or A$15 depending on the day's exchange rate.
I'm not seeing my family this year. Is it still for me?
Absolutely. There's a whole section for women who are estranged, low contact or spending the holidays apart, and the worksheets work whatever you've decided.
Does it work for any holiday?
Yes. It's written for the whole holiday season and any family gathering that leaves you braced, whatever you celebrate.
Is this therapy?
No. It's coaching support and reflection, written to help you feel steadier. If things feel heavier than a guide can hold, it points you towards places to get support.
You belongin your holidays too
Sixteen pages of scripts, plans and worksheets to help you walk into the season as yourself, and walk out with a little more of yourself intact.